&(*&^&^%^%$^#$

My birthday is one week and one day away. This fact does not send tingles of joy up and down my spine. This fact makes me want to cry a lot and curl up under the covers with my cat and hope like hell it all just goes away and nothing horrible happens.

But, giving the conversations with the bf as of late, that's probably not going to be the case.

Turkey Day was okay, but with all the family togetherness and whatnot, it just makes me sad. Because I see lots of happy new families and I'm thinking "okay, what about me?" And of course, bf brings up this whole "what's wrong? I'm not sure still," stuff yesterday, which completely shoots the day in the thigh, when up until that point we only had a slight flesh wound. Spent some of my drive home crying. Feel like crying right now. Will probably go to the gym instead. Yes, weights.

Oh. I actually have lost 8lbs, but my body doesn't really look like it. Although other people have been noticing the weight loss. So now I realize I have to do weight lifting so I can get my stomach, thighs and arms to look like they're supposed to look when I weigh as much as I currently do. Goddamn weights.

Off I go! Hope everyone has slept the triptophan out of their systems.