The Medication Connection
Quasi-gross female moment: I'm in week 2 of 3 for my Pills (you know the ones) and I'm spotting. I can only imagine this is due to stress. Gre-e-at.
If anybody finds any one of the following things unreasonable, would you please tell me:
1. Time out and apart to get to know myself w/o the context of a relationship.
2. That time out/apart being respected, if not understood, by the other person.
3. Moving out of my parents' house and in with a platonic, same-sex roommate.
4. Taking my cat with me, understanding that allergies will be a problem for some, but that's why God created pills.
This may get me in more trouble for posting this but...I'm serious. Someone tell me if any of this is unreasonable. Are these things I'm asking actually putting me in place to become "that person" in the relationship? Have I accidentally reversed the roles? Should I go whip myself and do penance for being a selfish, heartless, hypocritical, controlling bitch?
Or are these all signs of a finale to which I just don't want to admit?
I HATE this. Loathe, despise, detest, abhor...(yeah, I had to use a thesaurus for some of those)...there are other words, I'm sure, but for now those are the four best. I don't want ANYONE to be miserable--him, myself, my family, my friends...that is NOT my intention. But I can't make everyone happy. And they say to make yourself happy first, but if making yourself happy brings abject misery to another person, a person you care about, then what is the point of your own happiness? But then I start to evaluate WHY the misery is caused in others and I just get more confused and I want to cry.
Yay Mondays.
7 Comments:
If you don't mind a comment from someone new here's mine. I just started reading recently and don't know the whole situation with the person you want to take a time out from but it sounds like you are not married. If that is the case then no you are not being selfish with wanting a time out from this other person. It is better to have these timeouts before you get maried and have kids. Even if you were married a time out of maybe a week would be ok and should be understood from both parties. But a few months or a year is a bit much once you are married with kids. Everything else sounds resonable also.If people get upset about that do you really need them in your life?
Yes. What they said. Also, we need to talk. Nothing bad, just need some clarification. Right on.
As you know, I'm really not qualified to comment seriously on relationships but I will put my two cents in anyway. I think time apart may do you some good. You need to figure out what you want out of life and I think it's easier to do that without outside influence. As for taking your cat, I personally find my cat is the only one who actually listens to me so this is a good decision. Moving out of the parent's house is scary but really must be done sometime. I certainly would if I could...
A very ugly, dirty, evil old man once said, "search your feelings." To paraphrase, you know what's true. Obviously you have a lot of voices surrounding you in all of this, including my loud mouth which I know isn't always a pleasant one, and a lot of conflicting thoughts and feelings. But you know the truth of everything. And I can echo, with utmost conviction, everything said by Sarah, Amanda, and Anathema. You need what you need, whether or not it's harmful or beneficial to someone you care about. You do what you have to. Sometimes it's what you want and sometimes it's not. But no matter what you decide, let me reiterate, it's not about making anyone else happy besides yourself. You can't possibly please everyone anyway, so you might as well please yourself. (Take that as you will.) And like the ladies said, if someone needs to be told to shut up- any one of us- just tell us to shut up. Politely or violently as indicated. And we will talk about Sith Lords and cats and soy products and foreign countries, like we always have. Everyone on this blog can agree on two things: We love Karen, and Darth Vader rocks.
You ARE being reasonable, by the way. Perfectly so. And if it really needs saying, you will always have my support too.
I agree wholeheartedly with sistomongo - I got the link to his blog today for the first time and just about vomited at what I saw there. Is he serious?
Also, K? From what I've heard, there've been scores of messages basically saying "I'll respect your space." Scores. I'll respect your space by smothering you.
That's almost as oxymoronic as "ethiopian food."
Remember, milady - Goddesses can dip to commisserate with mortals now and then, but we don't keep them, except sometimes as pets. ;)
Hey Karen!
I really enjoy reading your blog and I always mean to call you to see how things are going, but I'm real bad at phone calls. Anyways, I think everyone hit every point imaginable about your relationship questions and since I don't really know your boyfriend that well and I didn't bother reading everyone else's comments, I don't know how many pearls will be dispensed at this post.
I know you've got a really good head on your pragmatic yet shapely shoulders and if your instinct is telling you something that you can logically justify, go for it. A little time never hurt anyone, unless it's on 24, and that's a guess bc I don't watch the show.
This is coming from a girl who was in a loving and committed relationship and still felt and acted on the need for space and reflection and moved from CT to Tucson. And I now love Carl WAY WAY more than before. And I'm still making him live with me in sin before we get anywhere near engaged.
In response to Shelley -
The sense of my comment (and I think at least some of the other comments here) is basically that if anyone wrote like that to me or about me, I would laugh in his face. I am not making a judgement on your brother as a person - I can't do that, I've met him once. I'm making a statement relating to how I would react to the language he uses, were it from anyone.
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