The Urge to Purge

After reading Leila's blog, I feel this sudden urge to get rid of a whole bunch of stuff that's in my room. I know my room is ridiculously overcluttered, and I have so much stuff that just doesn't need to be in this house anymore. But I'm horribly money-minded, and I hate the idea that I paid (or my parents paid, or SOMEONE paid) for something and I might just throw it out. That seems horrible to me. But the kind of stuff I have doesn't usually move at tag sales (I know, I've tried) so I don't know what to do with it. E-bay? That'd be great if we (meaning my father, it's his problem, really, not mine) could figure out how to get pictures onto the computer. Anyone want a set of Star Wars Vehicle Plates circa 1995? Well, maybe not the whole set...I might keep one or two.

I have too much stuff in my life. I really do. I wish I could be all zen or minimalist or something. But I look at some stuff, like gifts from...well, I guess I can't call her my best friend anymore, I hardly talk to her...from a close childhood friend and think "this is when we were still close; I can't get rid of that." But does one need that kind of emotional wound reopened every time one sees a jewlery box? Is that any more or less healthy? Should I just freakin' call her? How does one have a conversation like that: Hi, it's me. I'm wondering why you don't like me anymore. How ridiculous does that sound coming from an almost-24-year-old person?

Sometimes I wish I had to move really suddenly, and I was forced to re-evaluate all the crap in my life and say "what is absolutely neccessary for me to be happy?" It would force me to just deal with all my toys and collectibles and stuff that I've been amassing for a really long time. It's not that I suddenly dislike the stuff, I just feel it's making me...more tense than I need to be. Especially when one lives with one's parents, shouldn't one's bedroom be a sanctuary, besides the place to hold stuff? I often wonder, also, if part of my problem is simply that I am trying to live with an apartments worth of stuff in the bedroom of a 12 year old. If I could get my computer and TV out of there...if I could spread some of this stuff out...would I still keep it all? Would I collect more? Would I somehow look less scattered?

These early-morning contemplations brought to you by orange juice, nervousness about a cat's vet visit, and excitement about visiting a new "job site." (There's more on that last part once it's official).