Reverse psychology

Parents have arrived where they should be and that's a good thing :)

Still no writing getting done. I'm now back into school mode, where I have to read boring textbooks and a more-or-less disjointed novel. To Kill a Mockingbird is one of those great classics, but I'm trying to figure out why. Story is engaging enough but...*shrugs* we'll see. Going to have to teach it to unenthused sophmores in about a month, better put on my game face.

Well, I'm glad everyone is concerned about my health. The boyfriend has started calling me "Heart Attack Woman," which is terribly endearing as one might imagine. His mother, after initially freaking out, said that I should just modify my fat intake for now and see what happens. She's very aware of how I'm not trying to be fat so....and she's a nurse. We'll go with what she says.

Of course, what did I go and have for dinner last night? Pizza. And where am I going out for dinner tonight? A place that serves kick-ass steak. Yup, back to the all-chicken, all-the-time diet for me. That's what I'll be eating tonight. No red meat. Nope. *double sigh*

Who's that knocking at my door?

I can feel inspiration. It's sitting just outside of arm's reach, behind me, in a dark room. I know some thing is in the room with me; I can feel it breathing down my neck, hear it's heart beat. Every time i turn around, though, it moves, and I'm back to nothing.

Today begins an interesting experiment into real life for me. My brother and I are in charge of the house, including pets and garbage detail, for eight days. During this time, I must also start a job for which I will not be paid. Yeah, fun is. Inspiration might be waiting awhile.

Interestingly enough, I am dangerously unhealthy. Excess weight not-withstanding, I also happen to be sporting a 244 cholesterol level. Doctor wants to retest in 3 mos to see how I do on my own with diet and...excercise *sigh* To be fair, my father is medicated and can't seem to get his cholesterol under 200. This must be his genetic legacy to me...well, that and the nose. So now I count grams of fat and have to get to the gym whether I like it or not.

'Course, I'm not going to the gym today, nor did I go yesterday. College football begins in the homestate today, which wouldn't be such a big deal 'cept the bf's family has season tickets. Guess who's going? Yay! Football! Go Vikings!

Oops, wrong league.

And for your strangeness of the day...


You are Phillip Padgett from "Milagro"!
You're kind of romantic in a creepy sort of
way. At least Scully thinks so. She seems to
think the fact that you virtually stalk her is
semi-endearing. You always spy on her
voyeuristically, and even fantasize about
having sex with her! You're writing a book
about her, but you burn the manuscript to save
her life and then die yourself.


What X-Files 'Ship Sinker Are You?
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Writer Woes

You know, fanfiction is a lot easier to write in a great many ways. First of all, there's no horrible pressure that you might not get published...you know you won't. And, when you post online, you get instant gratification. Perhaps not instant, but definitely within 24 hours. Beyond that, it's so much less work...someone else has already created the characters, the universe, the over-all conflict...you just write a little vignette, or if you're really brave, you create a new character.

So why is it that I can't even write fanfiction? I've been getting a lot of praise for this one character I started on awhile back, and there's nothing going on. She's not talking to me, nor are any of the canon characters. I can't seem to move between points A and B. I'll have great ideas for scenes, but no idea how to get there from where I am. That's arguably the worst part of writing: trying to come up with the mundane scenes to get you to your big ideas.

"Gremlins 2" is on TV right now. I don't think I've ever seen this movie or the first one thorgh in its entirety. Interesting that Christopher Lee and the Doctor from Star Trek: Voyager are both here. Go Gizmo!



You are HOLLY GOLIGHTLY from the movie BREAKFAST AT
TIFFANY'S. You are charming, spontaneous, and
fun to be around, to both your friends and
people who don't know you well.. but inside you
are probably a little frightened of the future
and don'y really know what you want to do in
life. In fact, you might often feel blue, or
even worse, get a case of the "mean
reds"! You try to stay friendly with
everyone and close to no one, but you have to
realize that people DO belong to each other.
That is what makes life so firghtening and
wonderful.


Which Heroine of the Silver Screen are YOU?
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I think this really sums it up

What feeling:

You represent... apathy.
You don't really show any emotion. You can be
considered cruel and cold, but you just don't
really care about anything. This is just the
way you are... you're quite a challenge to get
close to, and others may perceive you as
boring.


What feeling do you represent?
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Ever walk into a situation you know you should be positive about and then get this gut feeling that nothing is going to go well? Yeah, that was my experience today as I wandered into my school for student teaching. People seemed nice enough, but...I'm only going to get my hands on 3 classes, they're all lower-level and I'm basically only going to get to teach one novel for 2 of those classes. I still don't know what I'm going to be doing for the other class.

Still, I'm going to keep my chin up. My main co-operating teacher seems very nice; he grew up in the town next to mine. My other co-operating teacher...reminds me of someone from my days as an undergrad. I'm not sure how I'm going to get over the disconcerting resemblance. There are 4 new teachers in the English department alone this year where I'll be for the next sememster...yikes! Here's hoping for the best, right??

My day has just gotten infinitely better.

I mean, besides a fantastic battle cry. Finally got the call I was waiting for. My life's suckiness level has dropped.

I wrote yesterday, though ilikeswords didn't seem to want to say anything about the scene. I mean, I know it wasn't the deeply profound, highly action-packed, plot forward-thrusting writing he might have expected. But I can justify it: the character in question, a certain married lordling, needs to have a personality beyond how his wife sees him. And, I mean, we kind of want to see he wasn't always an evil shmuck...but more on that later.

Also, for anyone else who is co-authoring anything: if you're going to be giving your co-author suggestions or ideas or propose something that's going to change the story, have a good reason and an alternative. You can't just say "I don't like this, even though I know we need it," and not offer anything helpful. Very furstrating, especially when your co-author is having a profoundly bad day.

And I leave you on this note:


Threat rating: Medium. Your total lack of decent
family values makes you dangerous, but we can
count on some right wing nutter blowing you up
if you become too high profile.


What threat to the Bush administration are you?
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I am woman, hear me roar!

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Stalking over the tundra, carrying a jeweled meat hammer, cometh Karen! And she gives a gutteral cry: "I'm going to bludgeon you in such an unsafe manner, the Earth will spin twice as fast!!"

Find out! Enter username: Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

Untitled

I did do some writing yesterday. Granted, it was more of the acutal journal, pouring out all my problems and insecurities type of writing, rather than fictional and fluffy. I knowyou're supposed to be able to pour all of your emotions, happy and sad, into your writing, but I'm feeling a bit overrun by them all. There's so much that I can't control in my life; my writing isn't supposed to be one of those things.

I think the gameplan for today is to stay out of my bedroom. For one thing, it just makes me tired to sit on my bed all day, regardless of what I'm doing. So it's time to go to the gym again, feed my friends' cats and then hole out in the living room or basement and write. Maybe even see if the library is open today so I can sit there. I can't remember the last time I saw the inside of my local library. Or any library, for that matter. How sad is that? I used to go all the time, but now...well, my library doesn't really service my needs as a reader; have to go to a book store. Sad, really. Hey, librarians...more sci-fi! And not just Star Wars, because let's face it, those books really, really suck. Yeah, I keep buying them...hush, all of you.

Monday, Monday

The problem with modern society, especially if you're a writer, is that there are far too many distractions. Internet, bad Sunday television, boyfriends, the gym, family...okay, well, some of those don't have anything to do with modern society; some of those are just part of society. Still, I didn't get a single thing written yesterday. Oh sure, I stared at the computer screen most intently, but I feel like I've been looking at the same scenes and words for so long that I can't change them. Or don't have the energy to change them.

"Family Circle" (you know, the comic strip) had it pretty accurate today. The oldest son is sitting there with a piece of paper about 3/4 full with writing. And he says "I don't know how J.K. Rowling does it; I can't even fill one page." Doesn't that just sum it up? See, the thing is, I know I can write a lot. I have 230+ pages of a novel I started years ago. Unfortunately, I had it rejected twice, for fairly good reasons. But it seems that my other ideas don't want to cover that kind of ground. Or maybe these new ideas are just not organized enough. I don't know.

The "Buffy" rerun that's on right now is the split-Xander episode. Ever feel like split-Xander? Perhaps there's someone out there who can lose these obnoxious 25 pounds just by willing them away, who writes every day, beautifully and prolificly, and is on her way to having her fifth book published. She's wooed a commitment-phobic boyfriend and is planning an intimate, Congregational wedding. Oh, and did I mention she's already done with her Masters and has the love and respect of all her students? Yeah, see, my double is way cooler than me.

Bad writer, no donut

Boyfriend's are great, but terribly distracting when you want to do work that's not really work, like writing. Didn't get anything done, but we did finish reading Prizoner of Azkaban. Of course, it was a third go-through for me, but it was the bf's first go around. He liked it and then grabbed Goblet of Fire before he left.

So, maybe today I'll do something useful. Like, I have to put laundry away. One of the cats is very interested in anything I'm doing at the moment. She's walking all over the keyboard. Believe me, it's more coherent and poetic than anything I've been coming up with lately.

Today I actually am going to the gym. Yesterday it was too hot; just ended up going in the pool and bouncing around for who knows how many laps. Today is weights day. I hate weights. Weights really suck.

Courtesy of duskindendera's blog:


Water Goddess. You like peace and serenity and are
usually content with life.


What element would you rein over? (For Girls)
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Poetry and writer's block

Untitled (for now)

Anxiety mounts on
the edge of
waiting for
the first step into
surety

ilikeswords just showed me something very interesting about DaVinci's Last Supper. Go here http://www.ibiblio.org/wm/paint/auth/vinci/lastsupp.jpg and check it out, especially the person to Jesus' right. It'll make you think. Guess I have to put "The DaVinci Code" on my reading list, huh? Also "The Devil Wears Prada," simply because it sounds so interesting.

As was expected, ilikeswords told me I was way off base with my scene, "but at least you're writing, and that's a good thing." Wait a minute, when was the last time you wrote anything? Huh, huh??? (See, that's the problem with blogs; I know he's going to see this...is he going to be mad at me? Will he just not mention it? Is he going to purchase a voodoo doll in my image and burn it in effigy? The possibilities really are endless.) So yeah, now I'm waiting for something he's written. Hopefully it won't be from like chapter 30, book 2 when I think the last thing I have falls roughly into chapter 4, book 1.

Hopefully, after a good beating up of myself at the gym today, I'll feel a little inspired to tackle some of the written language.

A House to call my very own

You're in Gryffindor!


Harry Potter:: Which House Calls You? - with pictures! (for girls)
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Well, at least something is going right today. I know, it's so early, how could anything be going wrong? Well, I got jack for sleep last night; I must have woken up every hour on the hour. Finally, at 7 am, I gave up and read the newspaper.

Yesterday was good, except for the fact that I STILL haven't heard from the head of my grad program...yes, well, I'm calling his house this morning and paging him. Of course, he probably won't be at home, but that's really neither here nor there, is it? Maybe his wife'll answer the phone and have his office number...or be able to get a message to him. Still, got to see my best friend, who I haven't seen in like...two months. Not for as long as I would have liked, but she had to go to work this morning.

Was a good girl and emailed ilikeswords the scene I wrote. No word on what he thought of it. I'm a little nervous. Hoping he doesn't hate it. 'Cause that would royally suck.

No more vacation...sad panda

Back from the Cape...did you all miss me most terribly? I sure hope so. But I want you to be able to function while I'm gone too...don't want you to get too dependent or anything.

I....WROTE! Yes, yes I did. Not much, but it was something. I feel really good about the scene, but I'm not sure what my co-author (ilikeswords.blogspot.com) is going to think of it. Probably that I'm totally off base with what anyone in the story should know, understand or care about. And then, of course, I'll be back to square one. But at least I wrote, right? Right???

Also did some editing in a piece that was emailed to me at the beginning of the month. Felt really bad about just ditching the poor author, although she does have another beta and I usually get sent the pieces second anyway, after they've been posted. Perhaps she thinks I'm too hard and doesn't want to wait to have me tear them apart? I don't mean to tear them apart; I'm simply interested in making them the best pieces they can be. *sigh* oh well

And so it begins....

Day One...let's see if I stick with this. Maybe if I have a place to vent about my writing, then I'll do it...frequently. Or at least, with more regularity than I currently engage in the activity.

Of course, I'm starting this the day before I up and leave for the Cape. Hopefully I won't get lost, kill my boyfriend, or our friends with whom we are staying. If all goes well, I'll be back (alive and still in a relationship) on Wednesday...and maybe, just maybe, I'll have a student teaching co-operating teacher too.

4.075 grad school GPA...WOOHOO!