Vacation land

Well, I left my house at 5 o'clock last night, drove to the bf's house, and then drove to Maine. Arrived at quarter to ten. Maine looks much like every place else when you're on the highway and it's dark, but I'm hoping we do a little exploring today.

The place he's working at Piper Shores is only a few years old and looks like a freakin' hotel. He kept saying the room he was staying in was a "closet" and "very cramped" but it's almost double the size of my bedroom at home, so whatever. The bed is more or less comfortable, too.

I have GOT to do something about exercising, as I am not doing it and my joints are starting to hurt from lack of strenous movement. I ate o-k this week (McDonalds advenutre notwithstanding) but still am feeling like I am letting down someone, myself mostly. But why is this so freakin' hard? I know I keep asking the same questions, but I can't seem to find any real, viable answers. What is it about me that makes me incapable of saying "no" to food I shouldn't eat and "yes" to exercise? Why won't I put forth the effort to get this done? I shouldn't have to rely on others for the support, although I find myself easily sabatoged by loved ones. I suck.

Here's to everyone having a good weekend.

Go home, have some wine, don't do any work

Those were my mentor's specific instructions at 3:30 this afternoon.

Clearly, I had a day.

So I am sitting here, after eating a double portion of two-bean enchiladas (very yummy, btw and terribly easy) letting dishes soak and contemplating how to get my brother to help me with the garbage/recycling. Oh, and drinking a $14-reduced-to-$11 bottle of wine. Quite yummy.

I actually DO have a plan for my students for tomorrow. Not anything overly concrete, but it will get me through 4 single-period classes. I have a couple of doubles on Friday (groan) but I'll worry about that tomorrow.

How I WISH I had a DVD player in my classroom. I'm going to show "Merlin" to my seniors, and there is a copy floating around the department on VHS, but I own it on DVD and should be able to show it as such, goddamnit. I'm seriously considering taking my brothers X-Box next week, even if I have to bring it back to him everyday. Although one of my juniors (Bless his heart) offered me his portable DVD player. I have his brother as a freshmen, so I might remind him on Friday to remind his brother and see what happens. We shall see.

"The West Wing" is on again tonight. Yay! I don't watch a lot of TV religiously, but I am so very happy when my shows are on. It makes me vedy, vedy happy.

Okay, off to do dishes and take out garbage. Hope everyone is alive.

Just another manic monday

Let's recap, shall we?

BF left for Maine this morning. I had my post-observation conference, and it was happy to discover that all my mistakes had nothing to do with being a rookiee and everything to do with being a rookiee to the system. So yay, go me. 'Course, now the A.D. is going to be teaching with me for 2 periods on Friday. But whatever.

Cooked for the first time out of the cookbook that Bulky bought me. It was a wanna-be meat loaf and actually came out quite well. While the brother wouldn't eat it, he did say it smelled good. So yay for that, I suppose.

I have to crank out some serious lesson plans tomorrow, including a decision about how I'm going to teach Celtic mythology in three days. When the seniors come back on the 4th, though, I'm going to be showing them "Merlin" in preparation for our King Arthur unit. This particular mini-series is a good 4-hours long or so, and that gives me PLENTY of time to plan the rest of the unit. Like what literature I'm going to read with them. A minor problem. I should be working on that now. Thank g-d tomorrow is my last BEST seminar thinga-ma-jig for awhile. I desperately want my Tuesday nights back.

My boys won. 5-1. Woohoo.

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night

It's 10 of 8 on a Saturday night, I am already in my pajamas, I've taken a Benadryl and had two glasses of wine, and can only imagine that this is going to be an early evening. This is me, partying like a rock star.

Graded 70 journals this evening, and I have 80 more I will have to grade early this week. Thankfully, it's mostly just counting entries and giving 5-points per. Still, have to flip through the pages, and I won't even get started on paper cuts. :) I still have papers to grade and lessons to plan, and I still have to fit in saying goodbye to the BF as he leaves Monday for the beautiful state of...Maine.

I'm finding myself to be in a very weird space right now, and it involves coasting. I don't find myself to be happy or sad, content or discontent, I just...am. I can't seem to get excited about anything. I'm a young woman, and I therefore decree this to be a bad thing. I haven't been productive enough for the Type-A in me, and I don't know if I'm ever going to catch up. I'm hoping this week will help, but if not...well, there's always Christmas break...right?


You are the Goddess of Air. Many people find it
hard to describe you, even those who know you
best. You are a sweet person, but can get
emotional at times. When a person is being
extremely competitive or insulting to any
person, it really pisses you off. You become
passionate about things you like, but are
indifferant to things you don't know about and
won't take great lengths to try and learn
something new. Despite this you are a very
intelligant person and people are drwn to you,
however guys don't fall for you easily so when
you are in love you get very passionate and
will do almost anything to stay in love.
Becasue of this you need a guy that will put up
with both your passion and your indifferance,
and who will laugh and be serious with you. A
guy like that can be hard to find but don't
give up on love, there's a perfect guy out
there somewhere for you. Just be careful you
don't fall in to a bad relationship, and always
listen to your gut instinct, it is usually
right. Be yourself and that will get you far
in life.


What are you goddess of?
brought to you by Quizilla

Ahem

The double-posting (now fixed) was totally unintentional. Blogger was being less-than-cooperative when I went to post.

Parents leave bright and freakin' early tomorrow morning for their flight to CA. I always feel very weird when I'm home alone (brother's presence not withstanding) and because the BF won't be around either...well, I'll at least get a lot of work done.

I'm of two minds when it comes to this whole Red Sox victory thing: either it's a sign of the apocolypse or better things are coming to the world. Not to be dumb, but what's going on in the NL penant race?

Watched "The West Wing" on tape this afternoon...actually almost cried at the end of the episode. I'm feeling very political at the moment (as often happens when TWW is on) and have decided that both of the front-runners for president are morons on many different levels. I am thereby wondering if I should write my cat in as a more viable option. Or my father. I secretly think my father would be a fantastic politician, simply because he's SO personable. He's a little right-wing from time to time (okay, often) but...I don't know. It always surprises me that the bf doesn't want to go into politics.

Had several (or perhaps one disorganized) dreams last night. In the first, I dreamed the Red Sox won, which I didn't know 'cause I wasn't watching the game last night. In the next, BF's parents had a tarot card reader at their house and BF, BF's best friend and I were all sitting down for a sort of group reading. So I asked her what was so special about March 20th. She informed me that BF & I were going to have a lovely wedding that day. Then I asked her why bf's best friend and his wife weren't reproducing yet and she said it would be very sad in their house until my bf & I had a child, then they'd have one too. Weird.

Now, this is all coming from, at least on some level, two discussions bf & I had recently about friends of his who are getting married/thinking about getting married/planning on proposing. It was very interesting because he said of one friend (who is dating a woman about 5 years older) that he, the friend, was being stupid about it because women have "expiration dates." I didn't mention MY expiration date, aren't you so proud?

But, any interpretations of my weird-ass dream would be appreciated.

Whee! Tuesday Inebriation.

That's right folks, it's Tuesday evening and I'm drinking. Granted, it's just wine, but still. Can feel my fingers getting all tingly and the brain is not working so well at the moment. Hell yeah, I'm ready to teach tomorrow. Sure.

With the boyfriend leaving for Maine on Sunday, I'm feeling very strange. I'm glad for him, but pissed about him leaving. I'm going to stay at his house tomorrow and Friday to get in some q.t. with him before he leaves, but I'm still feeling all...I don't know, like it's no good. I'm hoping this proves the proverb of absence and fonder hearts and not the opposite.

I have't made my lunch for tomorrow. Nor have I packed any clothes for an evening with the bf. Nor do I really care. I am so apathetic to life at the moment. This is probably not a good thing.

I do like my job. I think I need to say that. I don't go into work (not like with student teaching) dreading what's to come. I just feel so...underprepared. I don't feel smart enough to be imparting wisdom onto others.

"The West Wing" premiers tomorrow night. Thank freaking God. I want to know WTF is going on. I miss Josh, Donna, President Bartlett et al. How else am I supposed to understand the inner workings of US government if the TV doesn't teach it to me?

Teeth kind of numb...interesting.

Having a day

I would like nothing more than to wake up and have all my papers corrected and this cycle to be over. I get this intense feeling of dread whenever my larger senior class walks into the room, and I'm not sure how to make it go away. These kids are just...there's obviously something I'm doing wrong. But I've been observed with these kids twice, and been told both times that it's not me. Still, that doesn't make it any better for me, or the kids who I can see are trying to do the work, even if they don't enjoy it. Those are the kids I would hug, if I wouldn't get in trouble for it.

My shoulder hurts like hell. It feels like I was lifting weights wrong, or slept on it funny. I also have a large bruise on said shoulder from an...overly-amorous boyfriend. Fun is.

My Vikings did win last night, so that was nice. I think we're 4-1. Or 5-1. I can't remember. And, despite my best of intentions, I'm watching the Red Sox-Yankees game. I'm not a fan of either team, but I do wish evil thoughts towards the Yankees, much like my voodoo doll for the Patriots.

Oh, one good thing did happen today, and while I don't think I had anything to do with it, it was still nice to see. One of my seniors came in and he was about halfway through with Demons and Angels by Dan Brown. I asked him how he was liking it (he kept picking it up every time there was a down moment) and he said this was his second day of reading it. I mean, that made me happy to see this kid reading. I'm hoping that carries over to next quarter when I'm having them do assigned outside reading.

Planning the menu for next week while the rents are gone. Getting to make stuff I know my father would never eat in a million years. Whee. Just have to remember to eat more veggies and fruits. And workout. God, I have been so bad lately.

Is it Friday yet?

I'm not sure how I feel about this

You are *Magenta*! You're husky singing voice and
luscious lips make you very very sexy! Guys
want you, girls want to be you and you have the
biggest hair ever seen on film! You do have a
rather strange obsession with your brother
though...


Which Rocky Horror Character are You?
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Your son/daughter is very bright, but...

...I found myself saying that A LOT last night at the parent-teacher conferences. All in all, it was a good night, but VERY long, as I did not get home until 8:45. Yeah, then up again at 5:45 to repeat the whole process, woohoo.

I ate dinner alone at a restaurant for the first time last night. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, although the waitstaff definitely kept giving me strange looks. I tipped the waitress rather well, so I don't think it was too bad. Still, I wish I'd had a pen and paper with me, I might have actually gotten some writing done.

Not much else to report. I'm going to get my hair cut in about 15 minutes, and then I'm off to see the bf to do...well, lord knows what. I'll definitely be ready to crash in bed tonight. I'll probably go for a good long walk tomorrow to try to get some of this tension and crap out of my system. I've been eating really poorly lately, and I'm fed up with myself.

Death and the art of babbling

I had several dreams about death last night. In the first one, John Kerry had died and so John Edwards was running for president instead. In said dream, everyone I spoke to was suddenly going to vote Democrat instead of for Bush. This has something to do with several people (including Mom) telling me that if Edwards was the pres-candidate, their votes might swing the other way.

Next, I dreamed that, for some reason Dendera had died. So I flew to NY (?) for the funeral, but then she was there, and Bulky's mom was the one we were having the funeral for. Bulky's grandmother was there, talking about how glad she was to see me and that it was nice to see the group rounded out, or something like that. Very very strange.

Don't want to jinx myself, but today was a pretty good day. Had an o-k observation by my mentor, along with passable classes with my other students. Maybe Mom is right and they're finally settling into "yes, I really do have to do school work" mode, which should last until just after April vacation with my seniors, and the others will taper off after Memorial Day.

Boyfriend and I will not be going to London in April because 1) his vacation time for this year won't carry over and 2) the couple we'd be going to visit are going to be new parents in February, so our company will be overwhelming at best. Ah well. I suppose we could still go, but we'd actually have to pay for accomodations. Discussions need to be had.

Should be at the UCONN game tonight, but I think it was a wise decision on Bf's part that we not go. 'Cause I have to get into school early (again) tomorrow to make photocopies. Did I mention I jammed the photocopier Tuesday morning and it was busted for the ENTIRE day? Yeah, go me. I rock.

I just finished reading Don't You Dare Read This, Mrs. Dumphrey, which is a book I'm going to be teaching to my kids. First of all...wow, sad. Second of all, the author really captured the voice of the sixteen-year-old girl. It wasn't like reading Whale Talk where I kept saying "What 18 yr. old guy talks like this?" I'm wondering if my boys are going to appreciate it, but it will definitely be a quick read for them, so it will get us through the end of this cycle and to the end of the marking period. Good, yes? Then I can maybe teach them a "classic." I didn't imagine how much I would miss novels.

Okay, there was this REALLY stupid on commercial for LendingTree.com about paying for college. This father & mother are trying to send their son to an Ivy League school and the father is freaking out about how to pay for it, and starts selling all this stuff. You know what...get a freaking student loan! If you're going to go to a school your parents can't reasonably pay for (like moi), expect that you're going to have to take out some loans, buck up and deal. Mommy & Daddy aren't going to be there forever if you want to be a real adult.

Sorry, touchy subject with me.

I've been eating like a pig the last few days, and I've only gone for one walk. I'm feeling the Treadmill urge return, along with this sudden desire to do Pilates. I'm actually looking forward to the 'rents vacation so I can cook what I want to eat and not worry about hearing "make sure you get enough protein" if I skip the meat with dinner.

Maybe my cat won't crawl all over my head tonight and keep me up. Not likely.

Hello...is there anybody out there?

While this weekend was 90% non-productive and about 10% aggravating, it was good to have three days off in a row where I could get stuff done...or not, depending on my mood. I watched "Far from Heaven" and "The Eighteenth Angel" on our fancy-shmancy movie channels, and actually did some lesson plans. Then mother and I contributed to resurrecting the economy as I blew boucoup dollars at Kohls, Clinton Crossing and the Westbrook Outlet. I am mostly happy that I have work pants that fit (some are even size 8s...what!) and a whole bunch of new sweaters. No skirts this trip; nothing was really saying "buy me" as I walked around.

I actually did some writing yesterday, although it was crappy fanfic writing that I haven't even gotten around to posting online yet. It's going to be a story of indeterimate length, so I'm not sure if I want to post it now, or wait until my ass gets around to finishing it.

I have to drive down to Hamden tomorrow for this lecture (part 1 of 3) on the BEST program. ............ As you can tell, I'm lacking in some enthusiasm here. Mostly, I'm pissed because this means I won't be able to walk tomorrow, although I will get to see the BF since I'll be pretty close to his house and will be getting out at 6:30. Kelly is trying so hard to keep us all on the straight-and-narrow when it comes to the eating well/working out thing, so I want to do my part.

BF bought me roses on Friday night, although I did not see him until Saturday so the roses were already peaking by the time I got them. They're open now and really quite beautiful, so I do get to enjoy them for a few days before they start dropping petals.

Am thinking about having a fall party on Oct. 23. Anyone within the borders who knows where I live or knows how to find that information out is welcome. Nothing too confirmed yet, but the 'rents will be out of town, so I get to play house for 5 days and feel I should make the most of it.

My Vikings won yesterday (beating bf's Texans) and I was terribly gleeful. Stupid Patriots keep winning though, which is REALLY starting to piss me off. I am beginning to wish ill-will towards Tom Brady and am considering a voodoo doll to remove him from the situation. Need to check in on far that'll put me back as far as time in Purgatory though, so again with no confirmed plans. ;)

Hope everyone had a lovely weekend doing whatever it was they did. If you want, let me know I'm not talking to myself.

You are getting sleepy...

All of a sudden, my energy level has just plummetted. I took a walk (even though I didn't want to) then took a shower, graded a single summer reading assessment and then...this. I ate a couple handfuls of peanuts (bad Lady) but that hasn't seemed to help. Also, I'm really cold. I hate being cold.

Finished watching Return of the Jedi last night and about 3/4 of the way through, the fanfiction bug bit. Like I have time for this sort of crap, right? At least, thankfully, my day involves all single-period classes and a double-mentor period at the end of the day to unwind during. I'll bring in the myths I'm thinking about doing, show them to her, and discuss possible books to do with my freshmen. I've got a couple of ideas, of course, but I want to run it by her first. Not like I don't have enough planning to do.

All right, off to find my energy.

The World at 4:30 AM

I should only just now be waking up. Instead, I've been awake for an hour and fifteen minutes. The only thing productive I have done? Read a chapter in Les Miserables and put my lunch together. That's it. How fantastically boring, no? I'm just so pissed at waking up this early.

Now, I am a morning person. But I also need my sleep. I haven't gotten enough sleep. I'm going to be a royal nightmare come about 1:00 this afternoon, which is just in time for my sophomores from hell. This should be...explosive.

Much to my dismay, I think I'm becoming a coffee drinker, simply because my sleep schedule has been wonky for the past week or so. I'm not sure if the coffee is even working...it might just be the act of drinking something that is waking me up. Who knows.

Today's plans include entering interim grades in the computer and searching for Egyptian myths online, along with organizing some of my materials that are currently just piled up in my classroom. The type-A in me has been going crazy because of this.

I think I'll grade binders when the Seniors & Freshmen come back. Yes, excellent.

Missing my muse

After I took my shower this evening, I realized how much I missed my muse and how desperately I wish she and I could spend some quality time together creating magnificent things. Maybe I need to go back to Bewrite, the lovely people who published my first short story. I wish I was taking (or teaching) a writing class, because then I would HAVE to write, there would be no excuses. Of course, if I spent my "free" time away from correcting NOT online, I might actually get some stuff done. Like read my enormous pile of books. Haven't bought a new book (for myself) in awhile. Everyone should be really proud of me. We need our own AA-esque club: BookBuyers Annonymous.

I pulled a muscle in my neck this afternoon while I was in the car trying to take my cardigan off. Way to go, moron. I often pull neck muscles while in the car, and not for exciting, illicit reasons, either: I'm usually trying to grab something that is in the back seat and oops, here comes the pain.

I'm contemplating cutting meat out of my diet, except for rare (no pun intended) occassions. I just don't want to eat it anymore. I suppose sometimes I'll want a burger or a steak, but on the whole, meat just does not appeal to me lately. Maybe it's my subconscious telling me to lower my cholesterol. Who knows.

CNN just had a headline that said "Polish Withdrawl?" They were talking about Polish troops leaving Iraq, but all I could think of was going through withdrawl symptoms. In my mind, this was very funny.

Talk to my friend who's getting married and just got back from vacation. Yup, that relationship is fizzling. I don't know how to resurrect it, especially since she's about to go on the whirlwind wedding planning extravaganza. If anyone has any ideas, please feel free to comment.

And now, a quiz for those who have gone through...withdrawl...


You are purple. What a romantic person you are.
You're sentimental and forward-looking (those
are opposites.). You're a sophisticated and
refined--with a refind taste for chocolates and
wine (yum...). Tempermental and moody, you let
people know when you're angry. But other
times, you just sit and sulk. Alone. When
around people, you're a generous person, with
insatiable needs. You're a starving artist,
basically. You're enjoy getting into debates
over politics and religion with people of the
same intelligence of you. But you know they
can never convince you otherwise, you stubborn
person, you. As a unique person you are (not
to mention just a tad bit eccentric...), you're
well-liked by either a few people, or too many
people...


What color are you? (Amazingly detailed & accurate--with pics!)
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Again with the disappearing weekend

It's Sunday. I have done NOTHING productive this weekend, except change the sheets on my bed. I haven't done laundry, or correcting, or cleaning...nada. I went to see "The Forgotten" yesterday with bf, though. Pretty good stuff, actually. Kinda weird, but good. I like Julianne Moore.

I have to call Sarah, I have been so bad about phone calls. I'm absolutely starting to miss female bonding, though. It's just that I don't feel like I have time for anything lately, and what I really want to do is get together with a bunch of girl friends and watch movies that we can't get the men in our lives to watch. I also want to drink heavily, dance and giggle.

Grandparents are leaving tomorrow morning, so I should hopefully be back on the wagon tomorrow. My body is protesting the lack of exercise; I was up from 4-5:30 in the morning because my bones and muscles were sore. That's when you know it's time to start up again.

I have a date with my mom next Monday, however, to go shopping, which excites me greatly. We're going to the outlets, where I spent a lot of money, but bought good stuff, last time. I need to get rid of some clothes but I need to have stuff to replace it with first. I'm also going to do a massive purge of my belongings, as the church is having a large tag sale later this month. I won't be making any money off the stuff, but they will, so I figure the cause is noble enough that I can sacrifice the income.

To Kelly: Letters forthcoming; I'm going to mail 'em tomorrow.